Ankur Banerjee

Ankur Banerjee

Monday, December 1, 2014

Every thing that you'll hate to Love- For everything you'll love to Hate.

"your hands and eyes; the smell of your skin against mine. the way you carry on a joke for too long, and the way you explain yourself when I tilt my head at you. the way you talk about what you love to do; the way you say you love me. the sound of your voice over the telephone; even better the sound of your voice next to my ear. the smell of your shirt in my bed; the way I sleep a little better lately. the way I light up when I say your name, the way I say it every chance I get."

It's really hard to have to love someone or love to have someone around you for the same sake of feelings you would want to carry on for your life time. There are times when I hate it around Ninja, but not "hate it kind of hate it" but more appropriately "love it kind of hate it". So here is the main question, " Do I leave her an move on? or should I just sit and talk of things that I want her to improve, or I want me to improve basically to give our relationship a green flag?"

NO!!! Its not always what I want is what she always wants to do, neither is it the vice verse. But here we are together out of all odds and away from all difficulties with healthy fights and romantic eves and yes obviously with healthy fights I mean pretty hard and difficult to sort out  fights metamorphic-ally speaking.

GIRLS- Girls can be hard to understand sometimes, even I never did understand them, and I speaqk that so as to compliment them to keep their secrets intact, and in fact its so deep within that nobody gets to know who she is, until she lets him know who she actually is.

we'll I would love to tell something about my "WIFE", (yes i would prefer to say that- so what we aren't married?) which is common with every single girl I suppose-

"She’s stubborn and hard headed but god knows I love her. There are days when she’s grumpy for no apparent reason other than the fact that she’s grumpy. When she’s sick, she’s helpless and all you can really do is hold her in your arms and comfort her till she falls asleep. There are days when she’ll complain about everything like the weather, people, music, or even you and you’ll just have to deal with it. She’ll complain about the room being too hot, to only result in closing the windows in the middle of the night because she’s too cold. There are days when she shuts the world out;  she’ll ignore everyone because she just wants to sit in silence. Sometimes, she’ll claim she can eat an entire cow because that’s just how hungry she is. So we’ll make lunch plans and I’ll pick her up just to have her say, “I ate already, I was too hungry but I’ll still eat a little something.” There are days when she suffocates me with love. She’ll kiss and kiss and kiss, till I beg her to stop. She’ll tickle me until my insides hurt and hold my hand till it’s sweaty. There are days when she’ll claim every part of my face with her lips. And there are days when she’ll need her space and I’ll have to pull a chair up alongside her because she just needs her own space. There are days when her hair is messy and all over the place. Days when she’ll cry and you don’t know why but you won’t ask you’ll just let her cry. Days when she’s nervous and jumpy about everything. Days when she yells at me for no reason just to apologize two seconds later. Days when she’s a pain in the ass and pushes my cheeks just to settle it with kisses. Days when I’m listening to my favorite song and she’ll talk over it because talking is more important than music. There are days when I need her to make decisions, to do the littlest things like pick a place to eat. She’ll refuse and say “I don’t know” until I give up and decide myself. Sometimes she’ll swear like a sailor and make jokes during times when she should probably be serious. There are days when it’s 3 in the morning and she won’t let me sleep and days when she’s too tired and fast asleep by 10pm. Sometimes she’s clumsy and sometimes she’s a walking contradiction; but she is everything I’ve ever wanted. I’d do everything to have her bad days, her grumpy days, her “I need space days,” her love me days, her laughing days, her clumsy days, and her happy days, because she is everything I’ve ever wanted and I wouldn’t dare trade her for anything in this world."

Baby??      This probably means I love you.Learn to love and live from me <3

And that's how I learned to love a sad girl and comfort her with what all I can do just to have a smile on her face by doing just simple little things-

 1)       Kiss her forehead. Kiss her eyes. Kiss her nose and the birthmarks on her skin and all the places she does not love. Kiss her knuckles and her fingers and remind her to breathe. She needs that. All of it.

 2)      If she cries, your first question must be whether she wants you or not. Some days she’ll need you to crush her boundaries completely and pull her so close that her heart can beat alongside yours. And some days she’ll need you to let her drown a little bit on her own, but you have to come back for her, after. Always come back.

 3)       Do not yell at her. If you’re angry, write it down or leave for a while to cool off and then have a level-toned argument with her. Do not yell. Do not ever yell.

 4)      Tell her you will be at her funeral. And when she asks how you can be so sure you’ll outlive her, tell her you’re not sure of that at all. Tell her that even if you die tomorrow, you will be at her funeral.

 5)      Do not ask her why she is sad. She will tell you. If you truly love her and if she knows that, she will tell you.

 6)      Open her curtains. She’ll cringe and groan and make a scene, but she needs the light. She doesn’t know how to make her own sunshine, so you’ve got to give her some.

   7)      Llet her tell you about things. Let her ramble on about a poet she loves or why she hates a certain singer. Let her bitch about her workday or describe how much she loves her brother. If you don’t let her talk to you, she will never let you know her.

   8)      Llearn how to identify whether her eyes are stormy or calm. Learn her tones of voice and how to tell if she’s really okay or if she just doesn’t want you to worry. Learn her tells and her soft spots. And love every last one.

   9)       Take her places- coffee shops, antique stores, city streets and your kitchen. She wants to see the world, and she wants to see it with you.

   10)    Kiss her toes. Kiss her shoulders and place butterfly kisses on her cheeks. Touch her hair and tell her all the things there are to love about her. Remind her to scream if she needs to. She needs that. All of it.

That's it, That's all YOu need to do just to comfort her, know her, love her and be with her.
World is a small place to be in but a large place to stay when you have some one to love you for what you are, as I do- I love her for what she is, not for what I want her to become.

Friday, November 28, 2014

"MAN" on Poetry...

Men- A second kind of species in Human race created by the AL-mighty, and often forgotten of, because everyone is either busy pleasing a girl or discussing their problems and yea obviously those discussions and problems are of girls and women.
Let me ask of a very normal question
Have you ever heard of a song- a love song dedicated to a MAN?
or let us take it this way, Do anyone remember any song dedicated to Men? because yea there are songs on boys but neither people really knows about them nor they want to know.

Here you get an answer where does this species rest in mankind, they do have feelings, a heart to love, eyes to cry and hands that work really hard to make a world an easy place to stay in for the girl he cares about, or child he is father to.

They Love, Care, and is Honest to the one he loves .
"Falling in love feels like an accidental occurrence to many people, but in spiritual terms it is not -- it is the entrance point to love's eternal journey." 

Ultimately what men and women want is the same -- they want to feel connected, they want to feel attraction, and to experience passion. A man is looking for a woman with a smile. Men bond with women when men feel successful in making them happy. A woman needs to focus less on making her man happy -- and focus more on how he makes her happy.

And one example of such LOVE, from someone who loves, cares and is honest to his WIFE and CHILDREN is what we need to read and learn from.
He is 50+ years old but is still romantic enough to write and speak in ways we can rather think of. He in his way spoke about his love to his love, who was somewhat angry on him, and managed to get her back before the feelings hurt her, and bring a soft smile on her face.

This is about Mr. Aggarwal, kudos to his Love towards mrs Aggarwal, and his ways of expressing it in front of her and this is what he wrote in his anniversary this year when mrs. Aggarwal got angry on him and reading it left her on tears and feeling loved as always.

Here it Goes...

Dukh se, Dukh se nahi thi Yaari,
Kyonki jimmedari thi hamari.

Jab tak nibhate rahe jimmedari,
Tab tak naastik the hum vichari.
Aaj jab Dukh ne ki hai dosti yaari,
To hum bhi ban gae Aastik vichari.

Aaj jimmedari nahi thi humari,
To dukh ne dosti ki humari.

Jimmedari me sukh tha jeewan yapan,

Lekin aaj dukh ne china apnapan.

Bari ajeeb leela hai tumhari,
kabhi khushi, kabhi gamm ki di hai bimari.

Kabhi naa khush the wo humse,
Aur kabhi naa khush the hum unse,
Kyonki vicharo me bhinnata thi humari.
Aaj 22 saal ho gae shadi ko humari,
Lekin samajh na sake ek duje ki vichari.

Hume pyaar jatana nahi aata,
tabhi to unhe muskurana nahi aata.
Muskurate hai hum to veefarte hai wo,
kyonki pyaar unhe paana nahi ata.

Shak me wo ulajhte rahe,
Tabhi to wo veefarte rahe.
Na jane kyon Hum ,
                     Fir bhi unhi pe marte rahe.

Jeevan kabhi chandni raat hogi,
yahi soch kr jeevan jite rahe.
Tabhi to hum ise,
                   Shaadi ka samjhota samajhte rahe.

Khaai thi kasme jine marne ke,
Tabhi to hum marte marte jeete rahe.

Guruji ko jab sunaya humne,
To muskurae Guruji bole humse-
Ye kya aachari, vichari,
Jimmedari laga rakha hai?

Khade raho yahi,
             Saja hai Tumhari...

we all deserve the love that we give, and desire it to come back to us.
where we say- " All of me Loves all of you. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning, Even when I lose I'm winning
Cause I give you all of me, And you give me all of you."

Love isn't that easy to find, nor is it easy to stay in Love.
So take care when you fall in love, and when you are in Love.

Because, there's no feeling like Love, nor there will be.
Have Faith, Have trust, win over love,stay in Love, make Love and grow Love as you grow old. So, when you are 80 and you have you partner sitting with you with her head on your shoulders and her hands in yours, You can smile at her and say- "Baby you are old now, but you now what? 
I lost my strength now, but I can still try and hug you that tight as I used to do, and kiss you the way I always did, and the only change in that will be that I'll be teeth-less... I wont be biting you any more."


Now thats LOve. hehhe!!

#feelingloved                               #marryouanyway                        #dontmatterwhatyousay<3

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.” ~ THOUGHTS.
My Girl Friend and I were going through a difficult time since a few months. It felt like a pivotal time in our relationship. People say that commitment isn’t easy and you have your ups and downs. Well, we were definitely experiencing a low point.
We had been together for several years; we had been college sweethearts and were each other’s best friends.
During this time we had several issues going on in our life, one of which was my GF being out of interst and trust, and suffering with anxiety, depression, and a lack of self-esteem and confidence as a result. Our relationship was in a bad place and we were being tested.
We were not spending any quality time together, nor were we going out together as a couple (my GF loved herself more than she loved US).
We didn’t feel like each other’s friends, let alone the lovers and best friends we had grown to be. At times we even felt like strangers—or even worse, each other’s enemies. We were forever fighting, bickering, and whining at each other.
After a lot of heartache and many heated arguments, we realized we could no longer go on like this. When we stopped to analyze the situation, we asked ourselves several questions:
Did we still love each other? Did we still want to be married? Had everything changed so much that we just couldn’t work things out?
Once we decided we wanted to be in our relationship, we each made a commitment to start treating each other differently.
We hoped that, with a new perspective and our mutual love and respect for each other, we could start working together and make the change we so desperately needed. We hoped that a change in attitude and behavior would salvage our Relationship.
The following four elements became very critical in our relationship and might help us retain our relationship, as well as making it stronger for the future. 
1. Communication.
During this rough period we stopped communicating clearly. It’s funny how, as human beings, we withdraw from each other when there is a sign of trouble or misunderstanding.
We decided to consciously work on our communication. We spoke in “I” statements rather than “you” statements.

We expressed how we felt rather than blaming a situation on the other person. “I” statements work because they show how you feel, whereas “you” statements create a sense of accusation and blame.
This helped us be open with how we felt, stopped us from shutting each out, and allowed us to talk about our issues in a productive and efficient way.
2. Appreciation.
We were feeling a lot of resentment toward each other, and not feeling loved and appreciated, so we put in place a daily appreciation comments. Keeping a personal Gratitude feeling is a great asset; it makes you focus on the positive in your life and leads to happiness.
Keeping a gratitude feeling as a couple had the same benefits and gave us hope. It forced us to focus on the positives of the day and not just the negative events or what the other person did or didn’t say. It made us appreciate the other person and see them for the person we fell in love with.

It also made us feel good to be acknowledged and appreciated for what we had done on a daily basis. It helped to hear the other person say thank you, even though we were being thanked for doing our expected roles—me, for going to ignore any small cliché of things done wrong between us, and Ninja for taking over a sense of responsibility, understanding and showing what she feels for me then just telling “what she feels”.
It was important for us to hear the gratitude from the other person so we didn’t feel like we were being taken for granted.
3. Quality time as a couple.
It was also helpful for us to schedule quality time with each other—getting out of the Hostels and spending time together away from all the issues of our life; taking the step back and just being with each other.

It’s important to set some time aside to just be a couple; spend quality time together regularly, but especially during hard times. This doesn’t need to involve money; just a walk down the park together or along the beach will help. Just taking yourself out of your hostel environment will be beneficial.
We enjoyed each other’s company once again and started to feel more happiness as a couple.
4. Showing love as the other person wants to receive it.
We both still loved each other, but didn’t really feel that we were loved. I’ve read books and articles about how people receive and give love differently. Your partner may not perceive love in the same way as you; and remember, someone’s perception is their reality.
How your partner receives your love is important. You can’t assume the other person knows that you love them.

For myself, I feel loved when people spend quality time with me, making the effort to talk to me and listen. Ninja, on the other hand, receives love by affirmations, people giving her compliments and positive statements.
With this in mind we made an effort to show each other love in ways that we knew would make each other feel loved on a regular basis.
By doing all of this we started to feel like we were in a loving marriage and that weren’t battling through our difficult life on our own. We had each other there for the support we needed. 
We look back on this time as a lesson learned. We feel proud that we got through it and grateful that our relationship is stronger. We faced the challenge and came out on top.
We now practice these simple things every day to grow together and maintain a good and loving relationship.
We can be confident that by using these simple techniques, we can face the many challenges life throws at us together, such as getting away for jobs and family disputes that come along at times when we bring our love in front of them.
If you are fortunate enough to share your life with someone you love, then you owe it to yourself and your partner to make an effort every day in your relationship.
They say love conquers all and that all you need is love, but unfortunately a solid relationship needs more than that. It requires being there for each other, showing support, feeling loved, being grateful that you are sharing your lives together, and above all, showing your appreciation every day.

Because that person is really LUCKY who has a –Best Friend,a -Girl Friend and a-wife out of the same person”

                          -Ankur Banerjee.

Friday, October 31, 2014

2nd year..." m sorry STUDIES" and ohh yes - "ol hail the ENJOYMENT"

After a long vacation of two months  our university reopend and I was in the 2nd year with a pile of backlogs crowning my head. 

There was a drastic change in everybody around me. Every one was worried about their looks, and the reason being fresh admission of the JUNIORS.  Some were looking to approach them with a smile first and some were eagerly waiting to propose them in the first meet instead. And one of them was Mr. Chao. He was in love. His Dream Lady was our junior. I somehow never understood why I always got reminded of kangaroos when she walked. I still wonder why.
         ‘ In mechanics of motion, we have grasshopper, robert & straight line motion,’ our Kinematics sir was busy explaining the unit to the first 3 benches. Some were busy texting to their girl friends...wooops some boys had boy friends too. They were so experts that they don’t even bother to look at the keypad while typing. Had itbeen that LPU introduced a new way of answering the exams by texting, then they would have all finish the semester end ETE exams in just an hour with the highly perfected texting speed of theirs.

  We occupied our last bench and were laughing our asses off. The reason was Chao. He proposed his "so called" Dream Lady and the junior girl disposed. We laughed even harder when Chao made faces. That kangaroo had kicked my friend on his heart. His face showd the sign of rejection. Poor fellow. He tried his best to hide this matter but in college you cant hide anything. 

            I always tried to find an answer why girls answer ‘NO’ (Spontaneously) when a guy approaches her. Why don’t they think for a minute. Does ‘I love you’ sound like ‘ Can I have your both kidneys’ for girls or the answer ‘NO’ is their birthright ? Some boys in my class dared to propose my class girls. Some boys were lucky, they got the answer ‘no’. And some unlucky boys got answer ‘yes’. May their soul rest in peace.

   This reminded me of my love. I got betrayed by my  first girlfriend. Since then I kept myself away from girls. hmm… past is past. Time has passed now. We finished our mid exams, our lab internals. And our main exams schedule and all in one released at same time.
          By the end of 2nd year I have learned,
i)                   I learnt to say three very imp words for life:-
* Yes sir.
* Ok sir.
* I'll Just Do That sir.
ii)                Voice modulation during attendance time.
iii)              I learnt to:-
* Face Mondays.
* Fight For 5 Days.
* Wait For the Weekend.
iv)              I Never Believed In Luck But Engineering made me to believe when i saw my marks.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Wt if I'll miss HER or I olready missed her for 132 hours.

I placed my shoes in the shoe stand outside and entered my home. My roomie looked at me with a disbelief. I left in the morning to the temple with a friend. He made me visit each and every temple located around 8 kilometer radius. My forehead was covered by various types of vermilions. My legs were paining after making hundreds of rounds around the idols. I needed to be dead asleep till; i find my self totally recharged. My roomie started laughing looking at my attire. Am a atheist with vermilion on my forehead. I dumped 8 half broken coconuts on the table and left to my room. i slept for 14 hours.

I woke up  next day and attended my class. This time I was given the drawing of crankshaft, cam shaft. Am sure in next few days, I will be asked to draw total parts of car. I came back home after my class.

Anshul (roomie) was busy with his eyes stuck on The Hindu . I was in the kitchen. And Anshul  went in his room with a heap of books. His exams were nearing. I changed myself and came out for a casual chat. After you finish your studies, no you cant have a casual chat with your parents (they called me up).

‘ There are internship openings in B*EL. Have you applied for it.’

‘No, I will do it. I need to get the form,’ I said surfing tv channels.

‘I brought a form, fill it and submit it online tomorrow. Check your email, I've emailed you the required documents.

I hanged the cell pfone in order to avoid further discussion about my job. I logged into gmail. Ninja's status was “ in meeting leave a msg at my desk”. I flipped the form, I filled it and kept aside. For the next few hours, I kept busy drawing random engine parts. After that watched a movie to kill time. Just before the climax, a msg popped up.

‘ hey hi, just came from meeting. The clients are horrible. Need to spoon feed them everything.

‘hmm.. that’s what your are paid for,’ I said to irritate her more.

‘apart from pay, I manage to get some awards for my work as well'-said she. 'Today I got Associate Of The Month award, Bubu'-added she.

‘wow congrats,’

‘not only award, appraisal is also on the way,’ she said with a pose,’

‘woww congrats, so you owe me 2 treats,’

‘wait, I have another last one for you… u knw frm today i erased my past pics and memories cmpltly frm my lappy,’ she said in conclusive tone.

‘this is a great news. So total 3 treats’ I said in delight.

‘This is just because of you. I owe u a lottt. Every one is happy now. Even my parents are glad to see me happy. This is just because of you.,’

‘Hey, don’t be so emotional. I just stood beside you. Its you who gave your best in everything.’

‘ You are so down to earth. This Is what I love in you,’

‘you are welcome,’

my friends has planned a trip to Dalhousie. I want you to join us. The trip is for 5 days and it would be fun if u too join us,’

‘no I said instantly,’ a trip with her friends that too with girls. No way. I would prefer going to Mars than going out with girls.

‘ yeah I expected this answer. I know you are scared of girls but I will be with you so no need to panic. She said trying to convince me. but I was adamant.

The next day she left for her trip. I bid her bye. I left for my class. Engineering subjects can give you best ever hangover when compared to alcohol.  In addition to it, my dad satsang on my career gave me mental trauma. Days were too boring. No Ninja no chat. No power during day time. ( in Punjab we celebrate “Earth hour” for every 4 hours a day). 



After 132 hours, she was back online.

“hi how are you. I missed you a lot” these were her first words after 132 hours. Atlast I have a girl who misses my company.

“I too missed u a lot. It was like survival in desert with out having a talk with you.,’ I opened up.

Bubu no need to worry now am back,”

“ so how was your trip”

“ was good. the climate was too good. we enjoyed a lot”

“ so what else”

“ I got a call from a company. I got short listed for a job”

“ oh that’s great so when is the interview”

“ I have a final telephonic round. And job posting is in Pune”

Her last word took away my smile. Soon she's  gonna leave.

“ oh ya congrats. And all the best ok I have some work you carry on,’ I lied to her.

I took off my headset and started thinking why am I feeling that I will be missing something. Wait am I over reacting? What If she gets a job. If she makes it, that means no mid night chats, no more fun to be precise. In that godly hour I was fighting with my conscience when the whole world slept. In heart I was praying that she should get job. The next moment I prayed she should fail in the last round.